Crazy Seattle bikers trying to give me a heart attack

I was driving to pick up Dad with Isaac in the backseat when we saw a horrible accident. An SUV driving a little ways in front of us turned off the main drive and onto a lane immediately next to and running parallel to the main drive. This lane exists to provide access to a small strip of businesses, like a non-Starbucks coffee shop, an upholsterers, and a dry cleaners. This lane is one-way, but is only marked with one or two nearly undetectable signs as being such. Anyway, my eyes casually wandered over to watch this SUV turn into the lane when I noticed an extremely bright light moving toward him at a very rapid pace. It took me a second to figure out that this light belongs to a bike, being piloted by a complete idiot wearing all black, who is biking the wrong way up this lane. Time sort of stood still when I heard the SUV slam on its brakes too late, and I watched the bike collide with the grill of the SUV and send its rider somersaulting head-first into the SUV's windshield. There is a second where I think that this biker may have just died.

I pulled over at the next possible drive because I 1) am a witness and 2) have a cell phone, take Isaac out of his carseat, and run over to the scene of the accident, where two additional people, a guy and a lady from the upholstery shop, are now helping the biker over onto the sidewalk. The biker is conscious (and surprisingly geriatric), but is having major trouble walking and has cuts and blood all over the place. I ask if I can help by calling an ambulance, and the lady tells me they have already done that. Another lady runs out of the upholstery shop and the first lady introduces this newcomer as a nurse. Nurse Upholsterer tells the biker that he should be lying down, and Crazy Biker complies by quickly losing consciousness, melting almost out of the arms of those trying to assist him. He wakes up 15 seconds later and is surprised to find that he is lying flat on the sidewalk.

With Crazy Biker relatively safe and secure, I turn to the SUV-Driver, a middle-aged guy with a really cute, brown-haired 2-year-old, and ask him if he's okay. The two year old assures me that they are "fine", and his dad adds, "well, physically, at least." SUV Dad puts his boy down to help Crazy Biker, and I call the kid over to me and get him to hold my hand to help him stay out of the way. This is all with Isaac on my right hip, completely sockless as I didn't anticipate that we would be leaving the warm interior of our car. I try to ask the kid his name, and he says "Cah-ahh". "Oh, Carter?" I say. "NO!. Cah-ah." "Oh, Cah-ah." His Dad laughs at me. Later, his Dad calls him Connor. Meanwhile, I ask Connor again how he is, and he says he is fine. Then we hear sirens, and I say "Look, Connor, it's a fire engine!" He is very excited to see a fire engine. Then comes an ambulance, which I also announce the arrival of; again, he is stoked. The whole time he is very quiet, but at the same time curious, appearing riveted by what is going on with Crazy Biker man. He has also been taught well by his dad -- whenever I ask him to hold my hand, he automatically sticks his out for the grabbing.

To make a long story short, Crazy Biker goes away with the ambulance conscious enough to know what his wife's name is and her phone number so that we can call her and tell her to meet him at the hospital, but it is quite clear that the poor guy probably has something broken, or at the very least has a concussion. SUV Dad's windshield is completely decimated and I give him my phone numbers, because evidently I am the only person who saw the whole thing. Dad, who was lurking at a coffee shop nearby anyway, walked up to meet us and drove us home, and we talked the whole way about crazy people, especially of the biker persuasion, and how easily it is to kill oneself on the road.