So there IS a limit

I had been wondering all along just how much sleep deprivation I could take. I mean, it sucks, yes, but when one is up late at night with your little bundle of joy it doesn't usually seem that bad, mainly because (again, usually) when Isaac gets up in the middle of the night, he just wants the boobie and then he falls right back to sleep. This is fine, and even enjoyable in its peacefulness sometimes. When it all REALLY starts to suck is when Isaac is perfectly happy to wake up for good at 5:00 in the morning. To the uninitiated, that doesn't really sound too horrible -- there actually are people I know who wake up at 5 every day. Unfortunately, I am not one of them. Also, these people have usually gone to sleep at a reasonable hour, unlike me, who insists on staying up wayyy past when I should to take care of mom-related business such as e-mail checking, blogging, preparing things for school the next day, housework, QT with the hubby, yada yada. Anyway, most nights I am lucky to get my butt in bed by 10, and I usually watch TV with Dad until much later than that. You know how it is -- one must have some semblance of non-baby, non-work activity to remain sane. This means that, most nights, I fall asleep at 10:30 or 11. Isaac adopts one of two nightly schedules, regardless of when he falls asleep: Schedule A is wake up at 1:00 or 1:30, then up for good at 5:00; Schedule B is wake up at 12:30, again at 3:30 or 4:00, then up for good at 5:30. This doesn't sound too bad, and it hasn't been for awhile. This is until Isaac has decided he didn't need (and therefore I also didn't get) an afternoon nap -- that he could just go from his lunchtime nap until bedtime at 7:30. Without these afternoon naps, I have succumbed to a light, but vicious caffeine cycle that, because I am breastfeeding, is probably only making his problems worse.

Today I woke up and decided I couldn't go on. I made Dad take Isaac when he was ready to go back to sleep at 6:30, and I went back to sleep until 9:00. This was not enough. I made Dad take me to Starbucks so I could try to chemically awaken myself, but then I promptly spilled the entire contents of my latte before I could drink it. At home, I got Isaac to take another nap, and I was able to sleep for an unfulfilling 20 minutes of his nap. After his nap, I showered while he sat, buckled into his rocking chair, singing with me. That went fine, until I decided using my sleep-deprived brain that after the shower he could sit unbuckled in his rocking chair for a second while I put on some deodorant. Of course he tumbled headfirst out of his chair and conked his head on the tub. Both he and I then had a good cry over how much his deadbeat mom sucks. And he is additionally sporting an angry red patch on his upper cheek and next to his eye that I will get grilled about at day care tomorrow. After we had recovered and Dad held Isaac under observation for a while to make sure he hadn't sustained any permanent damage, I took him downstairs to feed him some lunch, whereupon I promptly spilled the entire (large) contents of his pears+cereal+breastmilk meal onto the kitchen floor. To recap: I spilled 1) coffee 2) baby 3) cereal today. Not a good one, nope.