It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
Two weekends ago we went to the orchard to get our locally-grown, family farmed pumpkins for Halloween. We got three -- a daddy-sized pumpkin, a mommy-sized pumpkin, and a pie pumpkin for Isaac. Isaac carts his pumpkin ("monkey!" he says)away from the porch on a regular basis, but though he may try, the daddy and mommy pumpkins are too big for him to lift. They stay put guarding the steps on our front porch.
Of course we meant to carve our pumpkins. We make a big deal every year out of pumpkin-carving, since Dada is a bit of an artiste and I am oddly fond of scooping out pumpkin innards. One year (pre-Isaac) we even hosted a carving party. This year we just didn't get around to it -- I guess it seemed like too much of a hassle to get into while chasing after the Buster.
However, it would appear that at least the daddy pumpkin found a use for someone. This morning as we stepped out the door, I noticed said gourd was no longer on our porch. I yelled back inside at Dada, who slept on the couch last night and admitted that he heard some scuffling in the porch region at some point. Though obviously Dada was a tired puppy, trust me when I say that he got a dressing-down for not fulfilling his man-duties of shooing people away from our STINKING PORCH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. As freakish and unsettling as that realization was, the situation was either lightened or perhaps made even more freakish (you decide) by the fact that someone left a crisp 20-dollar-bill behind, weighted down by the mommy pumpkin, in exchange for "stealing" from us. We certainly found use for that $20 today, and it was more than 3 times what we paid for the pumpkin, but still. WHO THE H IS APPROACHING MY PORCH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, AND HOW CAN I DISEMBOWEL THEM?!?!???
Of course we meant to carve our pumpkins. We make a big deal every year out of pumpkin-carving, since Dada is a bit of an artiste and I am oddly fond of scooping out pumpkin innards. One year (pre-Isaac) we even hosted a carving party. This year we just didn't get around to it -- I guess it seemed like too much of a hassle to get into while chasing after the Buster.
However, it would appear that at least the daddy pumpkin found a use for someone. This morning as we stepped out the door, I noticed said gourd was no longer on our porch. I yelled back inside at Dada, who slept on the couch last night and admitted that he heard some scuffling in the porch region at some point. Though obviously Dada was a tired puppy, trust me when I say that he got a dressing-down for not fulfilling his man-duties of shooing people away from our STINKING PORCH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. As freakish and unsettling as that realization was, the situation was either lightened or perhaps made even more freakish (you decide) by the fact that someone left a crisp 20-dollar-bill behind, weighted down by the mommy pumpkin, in exchange for "stealing" from us. We certainly found use for that $20 today, and it was more than 3 times what we paid for the pumpkin, but still. WHO THE H IS APPROACHING MY PORCH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, AND HOW CAN I DISEMBOWEL THEM?!?!???
posted by Claire at 4:41 PM
2 Comments:
First of all, I can relate. We, too, had one of our pumpkins stolen from our front porch just last week. But our thief didn't leave a $20 bill. That's just weird.
Holy MOLEY. People steal pumpkins?? Y'all. that's just sad. SAD.
And the twenty bucks? Totally creepy. Uh.. are you SURE you don't live in my neighborhood? Sounds like something my neighbor named (no kidding) "COUGAR" would do. *sigh*
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