Edward Scissorhands baby

Isaac's fingernails are extremely long and luxurious. Even when I was pregnant with him my nails didn't grow that fast. This is highly unfortunate because it means that his require trimming every other day. Because his hands are often in his mouth, or they are rubbing his eyes when he is tired, he sustains some serious-looking flesh wounds if I don't cut them. But have you ever tried to cut a 5-month-old's fingernails? Let me tell you how it goes:

Claire (with Isaac seated on her lap): Isaac.
Isaac: (squirm, wiggle, yanks target hand away)
Claire: AY-saac.
Isaac: (stretches and tumbles off Claire's lap onto the couch)
Claire: Isaac, will you sit still?
Isaac: Bah! Ah-guh (yanking hand away)

And then there's me -- I am much more skilled now, but the first time I cut his nails, when he was a non-moving target, I cut a little of his finger, too. So on one hand there is Squirmy-Monster, who won't even sit still for the boobie anymore, and then there is Traumatized Mommy. Trimming nails isn't fun for anyone, so more often than not I am a bad mommy and I wait until I see that he has scratched himself before I figure I have to buckle up and do it. Someone suggested to me that I bite his nails off while he's nursing, and that actually worked well until he decided it was more fun to play tug-of-war with Mom and his hands. So we are back to square one, and this morning he scratched the holy crap out of his face. This elicited that very special question from his childcare provider when I dropped him off:

Nicole: (with a hint of 'should I call CPS on you?') Wow, his face looks pretty bad. How did it get so scratched up?
Claire: Because he's Edward Scissorhands baby. I really need to cut his nails, but I really suck at it.
Nicole: (now very understanding) Oh, man, when I was a nanny that was the worst part of my job.

So I sucked it up and cut them all this afternoon. With an unusual amount of cooperation, might I add (thank you, Isaac).