Worst mom ever
Today I am feeling very sorry for myself because I am quite possibly the worst mom ever. This is for three reasons:
1) We have resumed the rice-cereal extravaganza once more, as of this past Saturday. I fed Isaac heaping gobs of it and he was thrilled, like "This stuff rules. Where was this all along? Where are you going with that spoon, lady?" HowEVER, I made sure to scrub his precious little face squeaky-clean with a watered-up washcloth afterwards, because I have discovered (from him flinging it onto me) that that stuff is like glue. Today I took the cereal back to his school so they could resume feeding him as well, and now he has a gigantic rash again, because I didn't tell them to make sure to wash his many chins. Sigh. Okay, well, that's more of a comment on how they suck as opposed to how I suck, but I should know better. And I have more.
2) Isaac has resumed lacerating his forehead with his fingernails. I am afraid that government agents in black suits will come and take him from me for not stopping him from doing this, but I don't know what to do -- I just cut his nails AND filed them two bloomin' days ago. Any tips are appreciated.
3) The worst sin of all: you may remember from my post yesterday that I let him play by himself when I was exhausted very very early in the morning. How did he stay so entertained? Because I put a magazine in front of him. He thinks magazines are the hotness -- not only do they have the bright, contrasting colors of much pricier baby toys, but they also have rip-ability and an extreme crinkle factor. Now, flash forward to today. He was so fussy for me all afternoon, farting like a chili-eating-contest winner, because he hadn't pooped in three days. When I finally sniffed a stink that wouldn't go away, we charged upstairs to examine the latest poop, which as fans of this blog know is my new favorite activity. As I scanned the enormous digusting pile created by my beautiful baby, I noticed, to my great horror, a piece of magazine paper mixed in. And that is really why I am the worst mom ever. Who knows what is on that stuff, and even worse, how much more of it must be lodged in my baby? Argh.
To top it all off, I am having a horrible time in other areas. Dad is leaving tomorrow and Wednesday for Mt. Adams, which means we will have to miss swim lessons tomorrow AND a (relatively unimportant) parent meeting at day-care. But the worst is that my boss has come down on me for not producing at work. Now, all of you may not know, but I am working part-time, and will be for the foreseeable future because we can't afford full-time day-care for Isaac. And there's that whole I-don't-want-to-leave-my-baby-with-strangers-all-day thing. Anyway, this means that I really don't have much time available to me to work. But because I am still getting used to this situation where my brain must be at work while obviously my thoughts are elsewhere, I have a really hard time WORKING while at work. The urge is almost inescapable to use work-time as a time to get in what little social activity I can get, and to do the web-surfing and day-to-day household business things that I know I won't have time for when I get home and have to keep my focus on Isaac. I know all this, and I know that I could probably do better, but I don't. And so my boss tells me that he can't understand why I'm not getting any work done, and that we really need to publish the research results I obtained just before Isaac was born, and I gave a talk on these results in June, what is the matter? What can I do -- I can't make excuses because it's all true, that I suck, and that being a working mom is hard hard hard hard, and I really have yet to get the hang of it.
Then today I got an email from this newsletter I subscribe to, which tells me about things I should expect from my baby each week, and also reports on topics that are relevant to moms with babies as old as mine. Here's what came from the relevant-to-moms section:
"If you are working outside the home, there's now research to show that there's a very good chance that your stress level has indeed increased since your baby's birth. A recent study at Duke University Medical Center, published in the July 23, 1997 issue of Psychosomatic Medicine, revealed that stress hormone levels in moms working outside the home rise each morning and remain elevated until bedtime. "
Sometimes one just needs a good finger to point towards the CLAIRE YOU ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL IN YOUR INSANITY sign. Usually that finger comes from Grandpa Walt, but sources external to the family are good, too.
1) We have resumed the rice-cereal extravaganza once more, as of this past Saturday. I fed Isaac heaping gobs of it and he was thrilled, like "This stuff rules. Where was this all along? Where are you going with that spoon, lady?" HowEVER, I made sure to scrub his precious little face squeaky-clean with a watered-up washcloth afterwards, because I have discovered (from him flinging it onto me) that that stuff is like glue. Today I took the cereal back to his school so they could resume feeding him as well, and now he has a gigantic rash again, because I didn't tell them to make sure to wash his many chins. Sigh. Okay, well, that's more of a comment on how they suck as opposed to how I suck, but I should know better. And I have more.
2) Isaac has resumed lacerating his forehead with his fingernails. I am afraid that government agents in black suits will come and take him from me for not stopping him from doing this, but I don't know what to do -- I just cut his nails AND filed them two bloomin' days ago. Any tips are appreciated.
3) The worst sin of all: you may remember from my post yesterday that I let him play by himself when I was exhausted very very early in the morning. How did he stay so entertained? Because I put a magazine in front of him. He thinks magazines are the hotness -- not only do they have the bright, contrasting colors of much pricier baby toys, but they also have rip-ability and an extreme crinkle factor. Now, flash forward to today. He was so fussy for me all afternoon, farting like a chili-eating-contest winner, because he hadn't pooped in three days. When I finally sniffed a stink that wouldn't go away, we charged upstairs to examine the latest poop, which as fans of this blog know is my new favorite activity. As I scanned the enormous digusting pile created by my beautiful baby, I noticed, to my great horror, a piece of magazine paper mixed in. And that is really why I am the worst mom ever. Who knows what is on that stuff, and even worse, how much more of it must be lodged in my baby? Argh.
To top it all off, I am having a horrible time in other areas. Dad is leaving tomorrow and Wednesday for Mt. Adams, which means we will have to miss swim lessons tomorrow AND a (relatively unimportant) parent meeting at day-care. But the worst is that my boss has come down on me for not producing at work. Now, all of you may not know, but I am working part-time, and will be for the foreseeable future because we can't afford full-time day-care for Isaac. And there's that whole I-don't-want-to-leave-my-baby-with-strangers-all-day thing. Anyway, this means that I really don't have much time available to me to work. But because I am still getting used to this situation where my brain must be at work while obviously my thoughts are elsewhere, I have a really hard time WORKING while at work. The urge is almost inescapable to use work-time as a time to get in what little social activity I can get, and to do the web-surfing and day-to-day household business things that I know I won't have time for when I get home and have to keep my focus on Isaac. I know all this, and I know that I could probably do better, but I don't. And so my boss tells me that he can't understand why I'm not getting any work done, and that we really need to publish the research results I obtained just before Isaac was born, and I gave a talk on these results in June, what is the matter? What can I do -- I can't make excuses because it's all true, that I suck, and that being a working mom is hard hard hard hard, and I really have yet to get the hang of it.
Then today I got an email from this newsletter I subscribe to, which tells me about things I should expect from my baby each week, and also reports on topics that are relevant to moms with babies as old as mine. Here's what came from the relevant-to-moms section:
"If you are working outside the home, there's now research to show that there's a very good chance that your stress level has indeed increased since your baby's birth. A recent study at Duke University Medical Center, published in the July 23, 1997 issue of Psychosomatic Medicine, revealed that stress hormone levels in moms working outside the home rise each morning and remain elevated until bedtime. "
Sometimes one just needs a good finger to point towards the CLAIRE YOU ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL IN YOUR INSANITY sign. Usually that finger comes from Grandpa Walt, but sources external to the family are good, too.
posted by Claire at 8:09 PM
4 Comments:
Sorry for the fussy Claire-centered post. Just needed to get this crizap off my chest. I will be a good mommy and post pictures and talk more about Isaac's bodily functions tomorrow, I promise.
Hey little girl, Grandma C thinks you're being way to hard on yourself. The only time the word suc should enter your conversation is when little I is lactating. Not in describing your mothering skills. It's hard as heck being a working mom. Besides that, I really don't know of any mother that hasn't lost her mind. We're never normal again.And just remember sweetie, your darling husband was bathed, powdered and put down for a nap in his crisp white clean crib and still managed to find a turd and put it in his sweet little mouth. And they wonder why we need therapy.You are a great mommy and we all love you.
Here's a tip I learned from my mom. Cut the fingernails while they're asleep. It's much easier. But make sure it's a deep sleep, cause you don't want to wake him up with your ministrations. Good luck.
So, Rob, I guess now we REALLY know why Dana's so messed up.
Just kidding, of course. Thanks, everybody, for your soothing comments. Yes, I am way too hard on myself too often -- if anybody has any tips on how to undo that part of my personality, they are SO welcome ;) I AM a good mommy, I AM a good mommy.
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