Bless you TiVo, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Insomnia
Isaac is still waking at night. But the past few nights have not been so bad. The night before last he awoke only because he fell out of bed, poor thing. Last night he awoke, came to find me, walked back to his bed and climbed under the covers, and then, with me right there, was out like a light in less than a minute. He sleeps through until sometime between 5 and 6; if he wakes closer to 5, I pull him into bed with me and we sleep some more. If he wakes closer to 6, he's up for good, and probably cranky for the rest of the day.
I suppose, over all, my main concern with his sleep disorder is what it will mean for the impending arrival of Sleep Disorder, Jr. in a few short months. Less than a hundred days, actually, according to the ticker on the blog. This seriously was nearly giving me panic attacks. "How do people do it?" I wondered. "How do people have two kids this close in age and survive?" Yes, millions and millions of parents before me (including my own) have had kids two years apart and lived to tell about it, but I am so locked in my own world as to think that I am the only one with this issue.
Last week after I posted my rant about Isaac and his crappy sleeping, I myself had a hard time falling asleep one night and turned on the tube to see if TiVo had anything worth watching. To my surprise and delight, TiVo had gone out and fetched me an episode of "A Baby Story" without being asked. As I watched this episode, I could feel the throbbing vein in my forehead slowly quieting. I heard the story of two parents expecting a boy, with a 2-year-old boy already running underfoot. Sound familiar? The mom and dad were calm and collected, and so ecstatically happy about the upcoming addition to their family. When their #2 did come along, #1 was such a good big brother, and they reported no incidences of jealousy or acting out or anything.
I realize things could go much less smoothly for others, but seeing these people and their success with two very young'uns made me feel much better about my own situation. It made me step back and realize that I am really not the kind of mom who is interested in forcing my child into situations he is not ready for. Clearly, Isaac is not ready to sleep through the night. Can I make him do that? Not likely. I can do my best to make sure he is well-fed, well-rested, warm, and comfy going into bed at night, but it is up to him, and only him, to figure out the rest. I won't let him sleep for three hours during the day anymore, but I will do my best to let him wake up on his own from naps to ensure he's getting the sleep he needs during the day. And if I have to be up for a little to help him get back to sleep at night, so be it. If he puts up a fight? I'll bring him in bed with me, because our (read: his AND mine) is so important right now. I realize people have different opinions about this kind of behavior, but I don't know how many people I have run into, and these are not hippies, who profess that their kids spent more time than not in bed with them before age 5. These things just happen. It's rough being a toddler, or even a little kid. When U.B. comes, we'll deal with it as needs be. Who knows? Maybe Isaac will learn how to sleep by then and we won't need to do anything.
The funny thing? Since I have made this realization and have been much calmer about our collective insomnia, Isaac has slept much better. Meaning he has been both easier to get to sleep at bedtime, and to get back to sleep upon night-waking. I think he can sense that I'm not stressed about it anymore, and that that is calming to him. I also feel more rested with the sleep that I get. So far, so good. Let's just hope I can keep this 'tude alive for awhile, because it is really helping things, in many aspects of life, a lot.
I suppose, over all, my main concern with his sleep disorder is what it will mean for the impending arrival of Sleep Disorder, Jr. in a few short months. Less than a hundred days, actually, according to the ticker on the blog. This seriously was nearly giving me panic attacks. "How do people do it?" I wondered. "How do people have two kids this close in age and survive?" Yes, millions and millions of parents before me (including my own) have had kids two years apart and lived to tell about it, but I am so locked in my own world as to think that I am the only one with this issue.
Last week after I posted my rant about Isaac and his crappy sleeping, I myself had a hard time falling asleep one night and turned on the tube to see if TiVo had anything worth watching. To my surprise and delight, TiVo had gone out and fetched me an episode of "A Baby Story" without being asked. As I watched this episode, I could feel the throbbing vein in my forehead slowly quieting. I heard the story of two parents expecting a boy, with a 2-year-old boy already running underfoot. Sound familiar? The mom and dad were calm and collected, and so ecstatically happy about the upcoming addition to their family. When their #2 did come along, #1 was such a good big brother, and they reported no incidences of jealousy or acting out or anything.
I realize things could go much less smoothly for others, but seeing these people and their success with two very young'uns made me feel much better about my own situation. It made me step back and realize that I am really not the kind of mom who is interested in forcing my child into situations he is not ready for. Clearly, Isaac is not ready to sleep through the night. Can I make him do that? Not likely. I can do my best to make sure he is well-fed, well-rested, warm, and comfy going into bed at night, but it is up to him, and only him, to figure out the rest. I won't let him sleep for three hours during the day anymore, but I will do my best to let him wake up on his own from naps to ensure he's getting the sleep he needs during the day. And if I have to be up for a little to help him get back to sleep at night, so be it. If he puts up a fight? I'll bring him in bed with me, because our (read: his AND mine) is so important right now. I realize people have different opinions about this kind of behavior, but I don't know how many people I have run into, and these are not hippies, who profess that their kids spent more time than not in bed with them before age 5. These things just happen. It's rough being a toddler, or even a little kid. When U.B. comes, we'll deal with it as needs be. Who knows? Maybe Isaac will learn how to sleep by then and we won't need to do anything.
The funny thing? Since I have made this realization and have been much calmer about our collective insomnia, Isaac has slept much better. Meaning he has been both easier to get to sleep at bedtime, and to get back to sleep upon night-waking. I think he can sense that I'm not stressed about it anymore, and that that is calming to him. I also feel more rested with the sleep that I get. So far, so good. Let's just hope I can keep this 'tude alive for awhile, because it is really helping things, in many aspects of life, a lot.
posted by Claire at 7:14 PM
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